Some Words

Litter everywhere
You have trampled
all that I gave thee
Moments, memories,
hopes let to the wind
Crushed under your indifference
And strewn asunder gifts of love
Now they lie hurt
With their eyes on the doorstep
In the long lost memory lane


I am the end
I am the means
I live through my dreams
I play to the extreme
The conversations we share
Are nothing, nowhere
I am their creator
In form and fiction
You speak what I dream
I hear what I want to


Is your love rascal
Young fool
Innocent of dark
Depths of the heart
And love games of the mind
Your embrace
Half heart
Half feelings




The morning hummed
On a sunny Monday
And yesterday when I slept
He left his music by my pillow
Two drops of salty tears
And many little stories on my sleepy smile…
Vikram Seth is a magician


Life is like an ashtray
Where you drop your dreams,
And very often the one’s of the others too



I am here,
And yet I am not.
I have covered my frozen consciousness with a white sheath,
And let go off time’s strange grasp.
I have donned the garbs of a traveler,
And gone beyond.
I have seen the yonder skies.
I have seen the rain denied.
I have felt all that I never dreamt about.
I have drowned in despair.
I have emerged mellower, perhaps stronger.
I have enjoyed much blazing sun.
I have smiled at the icy winds.
I have risen above strange words called…
Desire, ambition, love and friendship.
I don’t feel the need to be,
Nor do I feel the need to not be.
I bask in my emptiness,
And all that I once found drab and boring
I rejoice in their glory.
All that is superficial and shallow,
In flip side is not so.
All that I mean to say,
Tomorrow may not be the same.
So I have gone away…
To nothingness.
Nothingness I embrace you!

Yet again...

I have got an extraordinary capacity to forget, misplace, lose or do something wrong with things. While my friends have conferred me with celebrity status in this aspect, I am not quite kicked about it. Sometimes it makes me feel why me?... Makes me feel so frustrated that I feel I should list down my stupidities and invite people to tell me their stories which are equally stupid or worse than mine…

Let me begin with the latest one… Smart that I am I ignored half a dozen HDFC ATM’s around my office of which I have a debit card and chose to withdraw money from an AXIS bank ATM. This despite the fact that my colleague had just conveyed me of her inhibitions in using her ATM card at another bank, because her father had recently lost his ATM card to some moron ATM machine of some other bank. I not only refused to listen to her sound advice but also bragged that I always withdrew my money from whichever ATM was convenient, be it of HDFC or any other bank. Now it so happened that the ATM machine which we went to, had the good sense of refusing my card for the first couple of times when I tried to forcibly feed it my card. But persistent that I am I invited my own doom, and tried to insert the card by twisting and turning the card at various angles.

Finally, seeing my single-minded dedication the moron swallowed my card, only to flash a moment later “Sorry link with satellite broken…” the screen continued like this for 10 minutes and finally when it went back to normal the only thing it had to say was “welcome to axis bank”…it is pointless to say here that my card had been very conveniently digested.

(I will do another write up on what happened post this and how caring the customer care personnel are)

Let me tell you there many more such bank related incidents which I have had. I have had the good fortune of forgetting my ATM pin on one other occasion, and having used the wrong pin doggedly for more than three times got my ATM card blocked for good. On yet another incident, after withdrawing the money and being super excited to spend it I forgot my ATM card inside the ATM machine. But that is not the catch I went ahead and did my shopping without even realizing I had forgotten my card inside the machine. It was only while I was returning I happened to cross the same ATM and the good old guard returned me the ATM card.

If you are not yet thoroughly disgusted let me tell you of the another filmy instance when I thought I lost my pan card. That day too I was on a shopping spree, lost in my own world. Suddenly, I realized my wallet had disappeared, along with it my debit card and room keys. After much cribbing I went to the police station to write a report. A month later, I realized my pan card was nowhere to be found. I ransacked my whole room, delayed a number of other urgent processes which required a pan card. My roommate suspected that I must have lost it with my wallet, and suddenly I found it quite a plausible reason. I cribbed again and went to the police station again, paid money and got a duplicate pan card made basically doing the same thing twice. But the story doesn’t end here. In utter disdain and mockery of all my efforts, my original and so called lost pan card resurfaced in an unseen corner of my suitcase just a few days after I got my duplicate pan card made.…and the current status is that the duplicate pan card on which I had spent extra money is missing.

Let’s move on to other stupid anecdotes. Every morning when I half-wake-up, (‘half-wake-up’ because I do everything before reaching office wordlessly as though I am sleep walking) I either make breakfast or lunch or nothing…err that sounded unnecessary. Anyways, the food / dabba we get at office is awful. So, sometimes I take the pains to prepare lunch on my own. On one such fateful day, when I had good home cooked food lying right on my desk, I conveniently and absolutely chose to forget all about it. I went ahead ordering my dabba as I did on all other days when I didn’t get lunch from home. At lunch time, I obviously had surplus food on which my friends happily feasted on…

This is the last story I am going to tell you…While on the road whenever I have to attend a call I forget to keep back my cell. Once I continued to walk almost 200 yards with my cell phone pressed to my ears even though I had ended the call long ago. Much to my embarrassment I realized every one was staring at me as I looked like a dumbo…

Now, the turn is yours…

Life sans ambition

How important is it to have an ambition? Why kids are asked again and again what their ambition is?

I never believed in ambitions. My fierce lack of ambitions surprised people, sometimes even me. The only ambition I ever had was to become an engineer like my father, simply because my sister also said the same thing. As I grew up I was less and less convinced of it myself and finally by the time I opted for arts I was convinced I was not cut out for it at all.

I entered advertising like a lot of other people, people who didn’t know what to do with there lives. I don’t see myself becoming a Prasoon Joshi or an Amitav Ghosh. I am not sure I want to either. The truth is I am too lazy to do anything, too bored and sometimes… I confess, the thought scares me…But mostly I am least bothered about it.

Then one day someone asked me, “What do you expect from yourself? Don’t you have any expectations from yourself?” I didn’t think twice before answering “

Later when I thought about it I realized there was much truth in it. My expectations more or less and even my moods depended on what others would or would not do.

Perhaps it was during those moments of self-realization I remembered the lines from one of my most favourite movie- ‘The Revolutionary Road…
“I want to feel things…. How’s that for an ambition?”

This is how I want to live my life…I want to see things, experience things. And yes I don’t really need an ambition, ‘an ambition in the strict sense of the word’. Now that I have made this crucial discovery I find myself at complete peace. I don’t think I will need to dependant on anyone ever.

I feel liberated. I feel excited for the life ahead… I think I have finally discovered myself…

A la Gifts

Yours truly has been shopping like mad, recession all but forgotten. With the two of my closest friends birthday’s just round the corner I have bought loads of gifts. I have also discovered there are places beyond the tried and tested places like Archies and Hallmark. Anyone in a similar mood or just in the mood to spend must visit some uber-cool places I am going to talk about “seen it done it”. Also those who want their gifts to be creative but haven’t got the time to make it themselves must check out the following cool places---
Happily Married –
Play Clan ---
Pylones@Taabir ----couldn’t find the website

Packed with lots of interesting goodies these places are a relief for gift hunters.
Some of my personal favourites are listed below:

Cool Radio: Spotted a funky multi-coloured done to death yet cute polka dotted Radio with a little antennae. Also available lamp shades in similar shades. Perfect for those who love bright colours. Downside found it little expensive.

Nariyal Box: Made of a real Nariyal shell complete with a zip in between. It’s crazy and fun. You can gift chocolates in it.

Cushions: With vibrant illustrated maps of Delhi, Mumbai, etc. it’s super sexy…Also available cushions with funky illustrations of desi cars, buses, mobikes and more…

Notebooks: In nice thick paper with nice illustrations…Hand made? May be, maybe not.

P.S.: Sorry if the piece sounds like an Ad…can’t help it anymore…Wasn’t paid for it though ;)


I tried telling myself it’s over
Smiled that happy smile
Which said, “Shut up liar”
I felt it coming
Running hot through my veins
Deep inside the crevices
Must be their filthy mind
On second thoughts it isn’t filthy
Lol coz’ it isn’t dere
I think a hellva lot
And then think why do I think hellva lot??
I fail to find the music in life
Live in semi-deaf madness
And there you sit in a corner doing nothing about it
Life set in a shoe box
A nano hole to through which to see & regret
what could have been
Stiff suffocation for a roommate
Dwarfed hopes and malnourished emtions
Hours & days to live minus life
U said ‘no’
And bled to death
I sprinkled the seeds of little madness
It grew up into a full blown tree
And ate me up one day
You and I went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
I fell down and broke my crown
You felt sad
Went little mad, when you saw me dead
Sometime later people said
You found some water
And lived happily ever after
You walked on unsteady feet
Wobble bobble
Damned love, stand confident!
I beat you like mad
And said, “Will you love me now forever?”
The signboard said,
“Don’t disturb”
And still you came barging in
With your awful heart
You kissed me dead
Threw me in the ravines
A crow came and ate my love
Volatile winds beat my mind
Bring the fire extinguisher
Less I scorch your face
Running running
Between tyres and papers
Squeezed in a little happiness
We both sat
on the crocodile bench
You bought me a Barbie
And called me baby baby
I banged it on your head
And said screw you
I protested write poems to me
Sure he gave a reaction
His ‘have you lost it’ look
I said,
“Psycho it’s my turn to be depressed”
He laughed his silvery gurgle “Ya right”
It’s turning yellow
Stale and diseased
From the soft blush of the morning sky
To the rosy insides of hope
To the hues of tipsy red passion

Poor ol’ love is turning stale yellow
It’s time, to press the refresh button

Wall murals at Shilpgram

The Tiger

View from City Palace

City Palace at Dusk

'Chandni' at Daylight

Chandni is the rooftop restaurant at Lake Pichola Hotel.

Udaipur Unmatched

It’s been sometime since I have written anything. It’s pretty late to even say that I was on vacation, since I have been back long ago. Anyways, something to fill the void of the past days…

“Chali jo jhoomne galiyon
Mein uss rasiya ke
Bhool gayi main bawri
Raah apni
Uske chal mein”

Enchanting. Mesmerizing. Impish. Mysterious. Proud Udaipur.
Pick up a paintbrush. Colour its many-hued characters. Elephants, camels, peacocks, horses, donkeys, deers, lovely lakes, palaces and people. Experience and embrace!

Carry your bucks: The moment you step into its heart, the tangerine coated Udaipur cunningly draws at your purse strings, beguiles you with its many attractions. You hesitate; count your precious money and then part with it happily, be it for the lip-smacking food, street shopping, sight-seeing or the palatial hotels. They are worth every penny.

Paint the town: The city breathes of blues and reds and yellows... And hangs on every shop window. It will muddle your head with miniatures, abstracts, madhubanis, etc. In case you have never ever painted all your life, let Udaipur hold your hands and help you make your own miniature. Most shop that sell miniatures also teach you to make a miniature, all in 2 hours!

Ponder at Palaces: Every home in its land is grand, since every home is either a palace or a mahal or a haveli. Udaipur shows off swollen with pride, the abode of Maharana Pratap, City Palace. The City Palace Museum takes you to another era completely, as it is adorned with its treasures of Rajput armoury, King’s Throne, Queens’s bedroom covered in posters of child Krishna, many intricate palanquins, large vessels for cooking food for the royal feast, ancient miniatures and recent photographs of the members of the royal family and, so & so forth. Little away on the Pichola is the elusive Lake Palace, mischievously showing its tongue at you and laughing at your inability to reach it. Post terrorism attacks at the Taj, Jag Niwas or the Lake Palace is open only to the people who are staying there. Lucky if you can afford to stay at the Jag Niwas.
No matter how tired you might be feeling of the palace routine by now, Udaipur will still be dragging you to yet another palace. This one’s on top of a hill too - Sajjangarh. Undergoing renovation which it desperately needs, this hunting retreat has a spell-bounding location and the drive through the sanctuary is unparalleled. As you gaze at the orange minded sun setting against the bird’s eye view of Udaipur and wonder at the beauty of nature, the city gives a ‘I knew it smile’.

Laze at the lakes: Udaipur unleashes Pichola on you, the magical nymph in the full splendour of a chameleon. Disappointing at times because of the moss green carpet on one side of the lake and people still bathing openly at the banks. Captivating at other times, when you realize it’s all so real. Evenings it conspires & hypnotises you with its beautiful attire, dressed in nothing less than the stars of the heaven and the crystal lights of the surrounding palaces kissing it. Waste hours sitting by it. For once, you can forget the pen and papers. To borrow from Wordsworth “The music in my heart I bore, long after it was heard no more.” And just when you thought the magic is over there is Badi Lake or Tiger, the only natural lake in the city. Villagers claim tigers from the nearby hills still visit the lake for a drink at night. Clear and natural, it’s simply breathtaking. Also in the city’s armory is the Fateh Sagar Lake.

Still more...
Shilpgram: A crafts village with live performers and artisans. Must visit for those who love places with old world charm. Take your cameras along.

Nehru Park: An island park in the Fateh Sagar Lake, great place to relax especially if you love boating
Sahelion ki Bari: Or the Queen’s Garden complete with a fountain

Shopping: Beware of expensive leeches aka emporiums. They will trap you till you settle for a ‘bandhani saree’ you get at half its price at apna Lajpat Nagar. Udaipur will, however, entice you with wall hangings with a lot of detailing, interesting sarees, traditional juttis and sandals, fabrics of various kinds, wooden sculptures, earthen crockery and paintings. Also try the tailor shops that work at break-neck speed to create great fusion ensembles.

All said, Udaipur is steeped deep in romantic rajput culture even it wakes up slowly to urbanization. The magic of golden city, Udaipur will surely keep your heart captive.


How do you name that little selfish realisation?
Which drops on your cold terrified heart
In the fraction of a second
Sweeping relief
Breathing life into you
Telling you that
It's not you, not your home
That calamity has chosen to visit

Even Kareena Kapoor is not getting married, why should I?

I think the title itself says it all….
In the Great Book of Virtues for Indian girls there is an infinite list of dos and don’ts. Like the utterly irrational correct age for marriage. Inadvertently, all Indian girls (I pity the abused male lot equally if not more) are like pieces of floating ice on icy cold water, floating from this virtue to virtue, do’s to don’ts, here to there until they finally melt.

It’s seldom that Indian parents wish for a girl. And if and when she is born, with sad resignation they will tom-tom “a girl is equally welcome”. The moment she is born, the girl child is supposed to be fair, a dark one is treated to frantic home remedies supposed to magically change her by the time she grows up. And if she does not have brothers there will be sad sighs “no brothers”.

Too old to stay home alone. Too young to go out alone. That’s not the correct shade. Boys are not the right company in growing years. Oh he is your brother. (Relief) Outings = Family visits. The hem is too high. He is just a friend??? Did he call for notes? You have a bf, so marriage is on the cards. The colour too loud. Voice not right. Back not straight. Attitude unbecoming. Temper so alarming. Interests so weird. Subjects are so unlady-like. That’s a hobby not a profession. Don’t believe in god?? Ever heard of something so strange? Won’t wear salwar kameez, then what will you wear? Keep pulling your nose to make it grow longer. My she looks like her father.. Tut! Tut!. No brother to look after. Come back by evening. So late??? The where were you stares… So you have finally came back from your tuitions?

How will you do house work? Little bit of house work is a must. Save money, it will come handy. You want to join a gym. Please do. Internet, why don’t you sign in at some matrimony site. Digital Camera = Click your wedding portfolio. Another birthdayL. You want to wait for another couple of years??? I also got married at your age. Ya but we have to look from now. The suspicious do you have a bf stare? So and so’s son got married to so and so’s daughter, the girl was younger than you. Or worse still so and so’s son aunty told about is getting married. Implied- you missed the golden opportunity!! This is the right age to get married…f&^$%## O**^%$ who are you to decide?

Won't offer any reason. I simply declare a No-Marriage Mission!
I won’t float into marriage.

Welcome again

Congrats everyone! For seeing through yet another year. Of living and believing in life. We deserve a beautiful year ahead. Happy New year.

I hope I dance

As I breakfree of the cobwebs

I hope I play, with dreams dripping on my face

Playfully falling out of my palms

I hope I dream again

I hope I play :)

Running around the garden

With no one to scold

I hope I sleep

...Away my difficulties

Little by little

I hope I remember

The hands who helped me stand

Love which was unconditional