The Sexiest Diseases

I know the title itself sounds very funny. Diseases are something we curse, we abhor, we pity, we fear…they come stubbornly, sometimes with tell tale signs, sometimes without any warning. We don’t have any choice in them. But suppose we did?

What would you choose? As a child, I for some reason found certain ailments really fascinating.

Super Sinus / Sinusitis: Sinus was always this attractive nerdy disease to me. I related it to people who read too much. My eldest sister who was in a boarding school at that point of time was the epitome of a sinus veteran. I remember how mom used to tell all and sundry about her sinus problems, whether it was the drawing room or the market place, almost as if it was something to boast about. I always thought if ever I wanted a chronic disease I wanted Sinus. :D now that I have also inherited the legacy of sinus, I don’t know if I am really enjoying it. Still it gives me a regular workable excuse for absence.

Admirable Asthma: Another cool disease in my childhood imagination. I remember one of my cousins who dropped out of school because of acute asthma. The idea was quite appealing to me; I thought if I had asthma I too could avoid school forever. I heard of attacks where people made him sniff leather sandals. Lots of fussing over, pampering sounded quite nice. I have changed my opinions.

Magical Myopia: This is one disease I heartily prayed to acquire. Both my sisters took specs while still at school. My mom explained it as “Academic pressure”. No wonder I wanted specs too, half of it was probably to hear my mom say “academic pressure”. I took specs in 9th standard. I somehow couldn’t believe it had finally happened and my best friend who was by then fed up of my asking what was written on the black board complained to my mom. I was the happiest girl when I went to the optical store with my father. But all the compliments that I got for the prized specs was a frowning “Too much TV, Too much lying down and reading novels” courtesy mom.

There is actually a part II to the myopia story - the lens story. After conquering the specs I was obsessed with the lens. My sister had already graduated to lenses. But I was still not worthy of it. I kept persisting for it to no avail. My sis lost her lenses and was awarded with yet another pair. Hell broke loose because of this injustice. I cried, I wailed and created a great ruckus and achieved one of my few (and I hope final) adulthood thrashings. Within a couple of months, however, I was the proud owner of a pair of lenses. Sadly now, I find lenses more of a botheration unless I am in a mood to dress up.

Exotic Eye Flu: Ever heard of something so strange. Bird flu maybe yes. Let me tell you it’s the most attractive eye disease I have discovered recently. It’s nothing like its gross cousin conjunctivities. To begin with eye flu is not visible; there is only a slight redness in the eye. You keep putting eye drops like rose water. The doctor tells you to avoid the PC. While this may not be enough to take a leave, you can at least flaunt it in front of your boss.

Fantastic Fainting: I don’t know what else to call it, but fainting seems to be the most romantic of all diseases. Especially if there is a Mills and Boons hero around ;). It can save you from any situation. Besides if you like being seen as a delicate darling it is the ideal solution. And even if that’s not what you want you can also faint in a fit of anger.

There are many more attractive diseases. I can hardly write about all of them like low pressure, fever (that’s the only time mom fed me rotis), anemia etc etc… you see little illnesses are not such bad things. So, next time you are ill use your imagination.

8 comments:

Still thinking said...

Lol!I din know diseases cud be so sexy!

I'm still earnestly waiting to get 'magical myopia' but everytime I go to the eye doctor she tells me I have a 20-20. What do I do? :(

Arpit said...

HAHA
i agree with u on asthma thing...and i already have "magical myopia" and i have lenses too :D
but still no matter how sexy they may appear i dont want ny of them....a trouble is afterall a trouble.....
but gr8 post...HAHA

Blue Kite Dreamz said...

I always wanted to have a brain tumour or blood cancer ...

But i gt none..

every time i get my glucose tested..they show up nothing positive.except my B+ve part..

I have had many accidents,,,but never gt any bone fractured..i so wish to have a fractured hand so my friends can doodle on them..

i even went to went to the optician,when i missing potting my snooker balls ..he certified that i had a perfect 6/6 vision...and the problem was with my concentration ..
:( and that my sight was amazing..

why..why cant i graduate from my bi annual common cold to a romantic ailment...:)

D writer said...

hey still, blue kite

I m dying of not having any interesting illness....

Mr Kite I very well sympathise with u....As a teen I was so skinny I used to lie to every one who complained with a deadpan expression that I had polio. Neither did I ever have pox, measeles, jaundice, typhoid and of course not the romantic consumption. Had I died at the age of 16 with consumption in the 18th century poets would have written poems on me :(

But no such luck...so u see we are in the same boat.

arpit,


gud see u again...and where is your sense of humour? we dont have to be practical always...lol

Arpit said...

i've got it all...arthritis, been in hospital on steroids, fractured my bones, plaster for 3 months, u already knw abt myopia....and i srsly hate gettin sick....BEACUSE....frnds n family will make all plans tht time only...going out, visiting some placeor watever....IDIOTS!!! sexy diseases are fine...but they shdnt be deadly.....
and if u really want a break from work....thrs a better way...learn some acting.... :D ....you can have all the sexy and deadly disease all at once....you can literally die nywhr u want...what say?? :)

Blue Kite Dreamz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blue Kite Dreamz said...

@D Writer,

You with skiny polio legs and hands ..me with fractured hands and legs..and we both in ths same boat ..i wonder how & who wd paddle the boat then..ha ha,considering also that i weigh almost 3/4 th of a ton... :)
"bahot nainsafi hai"

D writer said...

D arpit,


i can imagine...u staying back at home while everyone else had fun...i know most of the times diseases are not fun...its not a matter of joke...but still in the lighter vein lol...

and i fully agreeand rely on acting skills...



d blue kite...
I m depressed even I m no more as skinny...:D
And since the sutradhar is not helping much we will have to row the boat with our own imagination...so it can either sail or capsize...
bechara sutradhar!!