EXCUSE ME, I AM A DIVA BUT DESPERATE

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Decoding the women in the Delhi Metro’s Ladies Coach.

This piece has been triggered by an observation made by a male colleague of mine who said that women in the Delhi Metro tend to cling to each other far more than men. Although at that point of time, I vehemently denied it; on retrospection I realized it was absolutely true!

Picture this, any bench inside the Delhi metro can seat up to seven people. But the moment an empty Metro enters the platform; a mob of womankind darts ahead to wiggle and wag, twist and turn, almost throwing you into the ‘mind the gap’ territory that they keep warning you about. In the end, at least nine of them fit into one single bench. This only means that each of the girls sitting on the bench has one butt-cheek up in the air and is in far worse shape than the ones standing. It also means that the girls have a much lower size assessment of their behinds. Come on girls, your asses are not as small as you think. I mean those demarcations on the benches are there for a reason.

If for some reason, one of them doesn’t get a seat, they simply stand hovering over you, silently willing you to shrink in size. Or simply glaring and staring till you get off at your metro station. Some of them will demand outright “thoda adjust kar lo”, which basically means you have to adjust her bum, her laptop bag, her lunch bag as well as some shopping bags. Few minutes into the journey, when one of your butt has already been mid-air for some time, your shoulder has got used to stooping over your bag simply because there isn’t enough space to adjust both the shoulders, your lunch bag been kicked around some and you have overheard the choicest Honey Singh songs on your neighbour’s phone, begins the game of bhutta eating. No matter what, there will be one woman who is eating bhutta in the Delhi Metro while you are busy trying to breathe and banging you on your face.

Now the question arises, why is there such a huge overwhelming mind-boggling passion to sit down? Most of these women are either going to or coming from their office or home or college. At any of the given places, they were obviously already sitting for few hours at a stretch. Then why this huge urge to sit down again?

It also makes me think, what actually happens when you are standing. If it is a very crowded metro, you are clearly pushed and pulled about, and you obviously can’t sit. But what if it is not that crowded? What is the desperation then to sit down? I mean do you get an instant heart attack or something like a meteor comes and strikes you down if are standing?

Often these women might be the ones who carry salads in their tiffin dabbas and hit the gym regularly. Haven’t you people heard that by simply standing, you can burn so much of calories?

There is this other problem that women in the metro have. They very conveniently tend to forget that they have elbows. I, hereby, declare that we womenfolk do have a necessary bendable part residing in the middle of our hands, known as, and referred to hereinafter as ‘elbows’.

When there is just a centimeter of space between you and the girl next to you, you can’t fold your elbows. Not to watsapp, not to fiddle with your bag, definitely not to stuff chips in your mouth and not even to remove that errant strand of hair. Your elbows need to be ram rod straight, under any circumstance in a crowded metro.

On second thoughts, add your ass to that list as well. Bending down to pick up your bag every now and then, unmindful of where your ass is, is simply unacceptable.

10 DELHI MUGHAL ARCHITECTURAL WONDERS

While it is a known fact that Delhi owes much of its cultural glory and grandeur to the Mughals, not many know much about Mughal Architecture. In fact, one out of every four people residing in Delhi  hasn't even visited any of these architectural marvels.

The arrival of the Mughals was a turning point in Indian history, more so in its architecture. Greatly influenced by the Persian styles, all the early Mughal rulers constructed excellent mausoleums, mosques, forts, gardens and cities. The Mughal buildings show a uniform pattern both in structure and character. The main characteristic features of Mughal architecture are its bulbous domes, slender minarets with cupolas at four corners, large halls, lattice work, massive vaulted gateways and delicate ornamentation.

The beginning of the Mughal era under Babar, followed by  Humayun doesn't have much architectural significance for Delhi. Akbar on the other hand, was spiritually inclined and with him began a flourishing era of Mughal architecture. His son Jahangir, an aesthete contributed to this era with many tombs built in the glory of nobility who had been at court since his father’s times. The chief amongst his works was refurbishing and restoring the tomb of the venerated Sheikh Nizamuddin Auliya. 

Shah Jahan needs no introduction to the architectural world. While his masterpiece Taj Mahal is located in Agra, his magic touched Delhi also in form of the city of Shahjahanabad, built along the banks of the Yamuna in Delhi. Architecture of Delhi during his era was done at a very idyllic pace, as if the entire city was in love with the process of building itself. His son, Auranzeb on the other hand,  proved to be a disappointment in the annals of Mughal architecture. Busy dealing with political strife, whatever little he contributed was within the walled city of Shahjahanabad itself. Gradually, as the Mughal Dynasty declined and the British rose to power, the rulers to seemed to have less and less resources in their hand to devote much to architecture.

Mention must however; be made of the women in the Mughal Empire who despite being behind the purdah, yielded immense wealth and power to contribute radiant architectural wonders. The first amongst them is Haji Begum, wife of Mughal emperor Humayun who built the Humayun’s tomb. Again, Nur Jahan was known as a great patron of architecture and built many beautiful palaces, gardens and mosques. Jahangir’s daughter Princess Jahanara participated in major architectural projects in the new Mughal capital, Shahjahanabad. She was the patron of at least five important buildings there. The pulse of Shahjahanabad - the bazaar of Chandni Chowk (“moonlight square”) - was designed by Jahanara.

While it might not be possible for everyone to devote time to each and every architectural marvel of the Mughal era, the best of it can’t be resisted. Here’s a list of ten Delhi Mughal monuments you have to  make time for.

  

Humayun’s Tomb

Right up on this list is Humayun’s Tomb, built as mentioned before by Haji Begum in memory of her loving husband, Humayun. Listed in UNESCO’s World Heritage sites, it is the first garden tomb to be built in the Indian subcontinent. This original masterpiece made in red sandstone is known to be the inspiration for Taj Mahal. Ironically, neither this monument nor the love story associated with it is not as popular as the one it inspired.  

Red Fort

If you are history junkie, there’s no way you can miss out on this one. Though not as well maintained as the Agra Fort, this fortified palace built by Shah Jahan brings alive the stateliness of the Mughal court. Diwani - i - Aam and Diwani - i - Khas, Rang Mahal, Khas Mahal, Hamam, Delhi Gate, Lahori Gate, Moti Masjid, Naubat Khana, Hira Mahal, Shahi Burj are some of its memorable structures. It combines the architecture of Islamic era with that of Persian, Timurid and Hindu design. Spend some time here imagining that you are a Mughal royalty.

Purana Quila

Built on the site of the most ancient of Delhi’s city Indraprastha, the Purana Quila as the name suggests stands stoically against the vagaries of time and nature. This can be an ideal place to spend a winter afternoon, basking in the sun and figuring the three huge gateways out. Once you are done with admiring Humayun’s ambitious plan for his city Dinpannah, there’s also a moat surrounding the fort for boating. 

Jama Masjid

With a courtyard capable of holding 25000 devotees and innumerable pigeons, this ancient masjid brings you one step closer to divinity. Commissioned by Shah Jahan, the mosque was a result of the hard work of about 6000 workers, over a period of 6 years. Visit the place with your socks on, as the red sandstone flooring of the mosque can be very hot to your bare feet.

Safdarjung Tomb

The last flicker of the Mughal architecture can be seen in this monumental tomb garden. This enclosed tomb was built in the memory of Safdarjung, the minister of Avadh during the reign of Muhammad Shah. While it bears resemblance to the Humayun’s Tomb, it is of a much lesser stature. Some interesting structures of this monument are Jangli Mahal, Badshah Pasand, Moti Mahal, etc.

Chandni Chowk

Chandni Chowk or the moonlight market was commissioned by Shah Jahan and designed by princess Jahanara. Originally criss crossed by canals, this densely populated area still remains one of India’s largest wholesale markets. Visit this place to check out the old havelis of Ghalib, Begum Samru and Chunnamal. Binge at places running since Mughal era like Ghantewala Halwai and shop anything and everything.

Zafar Mahal

The last monument constructed by the Mughals is the Zafar Mahal. Situated in the heart of Mehrauli, to the western gate of the dargah of Khawaja Bakhtiyar Kaki, this Mahal was named by Emperor Akbar II after his son Bahadur Shah Zafar. Much of this summer palace is today in ruins. However, one can still see glimpses of the gone era in its white marble Moti Majid.

Fatehpuri Masjid

A 17^th century mosque built by Fatehpuri Begum, one of Shah Jahan’s wives this mosque is located in  Chandni Chowk. Built with red sandstone, the mosque has a prayer hall and a fluted dome on top. It is flanked by both single and double storeyed apartments.

Tomb of Atgah Khan

This quaint little tomb was built for a noble man in Akbar’s court, who was murdered by a rival. Located in Hazrat Nizamuddin Basti, this 16^th century monument remains a secret to many. Sadly, not much has been done to maintain its beauty. Visit it before its gone.

Khan – i – Khana’s Tomb

Abdul Rahim Khan - i - Khana, was the son of Bairam Khan and one of Navratnas of Akbar’s courts. Situated in Nizamuddin, this tomb was meant for his wife but eventually he himself was buried here. A paved lane lined by trees leads to this weathered tomb highlighted by a dome and chattris. Ironically, the marble used for this monument was stripped of the Safdarjung tomb later on. 

PARANTHE WALI DRIVE

When you have a name like Ahuja No.1, do we need to say more? This dhaba can easily be spotted on your left when you reach Murthal, on Delhi Karnal Highway. The journey itself, could prove to be one of the fun ways to spend a day if you want to go for a long drive and end it with some good food.

The moment you enter Murthal, a number of Dhaba’s welcome you. There’s Gulshan’s Dhaba, Pehelwan’s Dhaba, Jhilmil, Sukhdev apart from the one I am talking about here. We chose Ahuja No.1 because the crowd seemed better here. They have a separate sitting area for the families too.

Had it been located in Delhi, Ahuja No. 1’s paranthes would definitely given the Paranthe Wali Gali a run for its money. Firstly, because unlike the paranthas served at Paranthe Wali Gali none of the paranthas are deep fried. They are all made in the tandoor.

There is a whole list of paranthas to choose from, some of which are listed below –

Aloo Parantha – The classic mashed potato stuffed parantha sprinkled with red chilli powder.

Aloo Piyaaj Parantha – Same as above except that you will bite into crunchy pieces of onion every now and then.

Pudina Parantha – This is a type of lachha parantha peppered with mint. It looks quite different from the other parathas and is best savoured when hot.

Gobi Parantha – Cauliflower chopped into tiny bits and stuffed inside a usual parantha. Tastes quite nice and different.

Mooli Parantha – This is the only form in which I find radishes tolerable and quite tasty actually.

All the paranthas are served with panchranga pickle, sirce wala pyaaj, and huge dollops of white cow butter which is amazingly yum. Team it with Dal Fry or Dal Makhani and your day is made. Curd could also be a god option.

It is best not to think of calories that day. Have your fill and then head out for a stroll in the nearby fields. You can always hit the gym later.

Quite funnily these dhabas have started serving noodles and burgers too. I just hope people stop demanding noodles at such places and let authentic food survive.

SORRY, NO SNAKES AND LIZARDS FOR DINNER

Among other things, people do have the strangest of questions on their mind when it comes to food from north east (of India, just in case you got confused with the north east of China, Africa or the antipodes). In fact, I have often replied the polite enquiries of my colleagues of what I was cooking for dinner with a cold glare. I was bored of explaining time and again that Assamese food also  consisted of dal chawal, arguably the most common Indian meal.

But when I pondered over this topic deeper, I realised this lack of information was actually a lack of the availability of the food itself in other parts of the country. Rosang Café is an exception in this regard. For all those who have no clue what food from north east is like, do head to Rosang Cafe. Located near Upahar Cinema in Green Park, it brings the finest food of the seven north eastern states.

Jokes apart, despite being an Assamese, I myself have limited knowledge about the north eastern cuisines. I am desperately trying to rectify this problem by visiting Rosang frequently. While I would highly recommend the place to everyone, here are a few things to keep in mind before trying out food from north east.

#1. North eastern food is light on your taste buds and tummy. Not excited? Then try the piping hot dry fish chutney!

#2. Some of the dishes may have strong aromas, often not so pleasant if you aren't used to it. Come prepared.

#3. All the dishes are extremely healthy. Do tell your trainer about it.

#4. It’s not only about noodles and momos. What were you expecting a chocolate momo or a paneer one?

#5. Do not expect it to be spicy and oily. But count on it to be flavoursome.

#6. For God's sake don't come and ask for a roti or naan. Didn't you know the best thing on earth is rice?

#7. You think it will be like Chinese and Thai. You couldn't be more wrong. The spices, herbs and process of preparing the dishes are all different.

#8. Vegetarians are welcome too. We don’t sit at the slaughterhouse 24 x 7.

#9. The curries won’t look red; turmeric is not a favourite here. Did you say you already knew it?

#10. Taste a new vegetable like kol posola (banana stem). You’ll soon realise vegetables go beyond cauliflowers and peas.

·        

While trying food from north east, please do remember that they are seven states not one. This is another problem I want to deal with it. But let’s just stick to the food here. Being neighbouring states the cuisines of the north eastern states do have similarities, however, they are as varied as the seven states and the people living in them are. Thankfully, Rosang Café picks some of the best dishes from the seven states.

Go with an open mind. Do try the spicy Dry Fish Chutney, Aksa Meh a delicious chicken curry, Fried Fish in Burmese paste and Dohneiihong, a Meghalayan pork dish cooked in black seasame seeds. Yes, the names are difficult. But admit it they can’t be more difficult than that of the Thai, Mexican or French dishes.

Enjoy the hospitality of the super friendly owner, Mary. And hopefully you’ll get to understand that part of the country slightly better.

P.S. These pictures have been taken on a mobile phone by a not so great photographer. The food actually looks much better than this.

GOING THE GWALIOR WAY

Gwalior is often considered the poor cousin when compared to the likes of Shimla, Manali, Nainital. At times, it is not even in the consideration set. But if you dig forts, palaces and ancient love stories, Gwalior should be high on your priority list. More so, if you are running out of weekend getaway ideas.

Last month, I spent a weekend at Gwalior. Needless to say, a weekend is not sufficient for a place like Gwalior. Me and my friend were dead tired and there was still so much left to see. On the contrary, if you are up for a stamina crunching trip, even a weekend might suffice.

Here is a quick snippet on what to expect on a Gwalior trip.

Stay

Gwalior doesn't have many hotels; at least my internet search at the time didn't say so. However, it has a few budget hotels like Hotel Landmark, Hotel Grace and a few two star hotels. On the other hand, if you don’t mind spending some money don’t look beyond Deo Bagh, a Neemrana Hotel. It’s an idyllic setting to relax and to some extent a destination in itself.

Originally a summer palace of the ruling dynasty, this hotel has a range of rooms each overlooking a lush green lawn and two quaint 17^th century temples on the horizon. All the rooms have been named after the royal family members like Jayaji Villas, Aruna Villas, Rohini Raja Mahal, Dhruv Villas etc. Read more about them here http://deobagh.neemranahotels.com/. Ironically, not a single auto wallah at the railway station knew anything about the hotel.

See

If you are a sightseeing kind of person, there is a plenty waiting for you. Keep a day aside for supposedly the largest of its kind - Gwalior Fort, the outer boundary of which stretches as far as 3.5 km. Also come prepared for a long trek, as the autos are not allowed to enter the fort premises. 

Inside the fort are Gujari Mahal, an Archeological Musuem, Man Mandir Palace, Saas Bahu Temple, Teli ka Mandir, Jahangiri Mahal, Karan Mahal, Shahjahan Mahal, Jauhar Kund, Suraj Kund, a Gurudwara, a chapel and even more.

If you have to choose between the monuments due to paucity of time, then settle down for the Man Mandir Palace and the Saas Bahu Temple. Both of them are exquisite to look at and the best that the fort has to offer in terms of architecture.

Just like the history of the city, Gwalior architecture is an interesting mix of mughal, deccan and hindu designs. You will be able to see glimpses of this everywhere you go.

The other two must visit places in the city are the Jai Vilas, erstwhile palace of the Scindihias and Tansen Ka Maqbara. While the former is standing there in all its glory, the Tansen’s tomb could have been better maintained. The fact that the entry to the Maqbara is free and also that it is in a bustling market area has transformed the place. At best it is comparable to a local park where people feel free to come and sleep. Despite the indifference of the government, Tansen’s resting place manages to give its visitors what they come seeking – peace. In fact, both I and my friend were anxious about spending so less time at such a beautiful place. Given a choice, we would have happily spent the entire day dreaming there.

On the other hand, the pristine white Jai Vilas that has often been shown as the home of heroes and heroines in films of the 80’s has now been turned into a museum. The rooms of the palace are still laid out as they were used once upon a time, each of them with a unique colour scheme and a magnificent story to tell. Some parts of the palace continue to be used by the royal family even today.

Do give the Kala Vittika and the Light and Sound Show a miss. The Kala Vittika has absolutely nothing inside and the Light and Sound Show is way too outdated with almost no lighting and graphics. In fact, those who have seen the one at Delhi Old Fort will not even call it a Light and Sound Show.

Eat                                                                                                            

Sorry to say food lovers, there is not much to eat here. The food at the Deo Bagh was average, and beyond that we couldn't find anything. There are few dhabas lined up near the railway station that dish up spicy stuff. But they can hardly be called sumptuous. Also it will be best to stick to vegetarian food, as majority of the people at Gwalior seem to be vegetarian.

 Feel

Gwalior is full of interesting stories. The fort itself was built by Raja Surya Sen when sage Gwalipa cured him of leprosy. Again Raja Man Singh fell in love with a tribal girl named Gurjari whom he named Mrignayani. It is said that Mrignayani’s love for her husband was such that even Emperor Akbar couldn't do anything. After conquering the Gwalior Fort, when he took her to his Agra harem she continued to love her husband even after many days and refused to comply. Seeing her dedication for her love, the emperor reunited her with Raja Man Singh.

So, the next time someone says there is not much to see or do you know what your answer should be.